It’s that time of the year again when I am faced with the decision of whether or not to go to the national academic conference in my field. Do I want to dish out $1500-$2000 (which constitutes for me almost a month’s salary) for a conference where I’ll be shamed and made to feel like a loser because I still don’t have a tenure track job or do I stay home and let go of the opportunity to connect with potential employers, mentors, colleagues and old friends? I’m frankly so tired of this game and part of me really wants to stay home but I know that staying home is one more step in accepting and reifying my dead-end trajectory in academia– It’s putting one more nail in the coffin.